Roosevelt students taking classes in the Gage Building should allow themselves extra time to get to class. They should also purchase a new flashlight.
Students already experience a daily dodge of construction equipment and scaffolding around the entrance to the building. And, based on the update from T & D Construction, the company handling the Gage Building construction, during a press conference on Tuesday, the maneuvering will become increasingly difficult.
"We didn't see this coming," said an obviously sweating Jonas Turner, co-owner of T & D construction, "Who could have anticipated we would uncover an underground cave? These are the kind of setbacks you just can't plan for in construction."
During a routine dirt haul last week, Turner and his crew broke through the ground and discovered a huge cave be¬neath Michigan Avenue.
"There is nothing we can do about it at this point," said Frank Leonard, a construction worker, "The students will just have to deal with the cave and all the rabid bats that come with it."
Workers have concluded the ground is too structurally unsound to simply put a cover over the cave. To gain en¬trance to the Gage Building, students are going to have to go through the cave.
"It's like that kid's story 'Going on a Bear Hunt,'" said Barry Torkelson, vice president of new construction at Roosevelt, "We can't go over it. We can't go around it. We are going to have to go through it."
Torkelson tried to calm growing fears during the press conference by demonstrating the entire "Going on a Bear Hunt" story. He also assured the students and faculty that everyone would be well-prepared to navigate the cave.
"We are issuing each student, faculty member and guest a map of the cave," Torkelson said, "The map will safely direct everyone to the cave's entrance on State Street, through a series of tunnels and into the Gage lobby."
Torkelson also promised that there was extra money in the budget to purchase protective nets for those concerned about bat bites.
There is no official comment yet on the reports of human-like underground creatures or poisonous snakes that said to also inhabit the cave.
Despite this setback, T & D Construction is optimistic.
"After all this cave nonsense is taken care of, we will be back on track to give Roosevelt a beautiful new façade to the Gage Building," said Turner, "You can't make an omelet without a few people having to get rabies test, right?"
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